I Am the Maker of My Future
I’ve been thinking a lot lately about time. For a while now it’s been something that I use to distinguish and organise my life. Life happening in different stages; all the things that have happened to me previously, the present moment right now, and thoughts about what may unravel in the future. And it’s so easy to talk about getting into ‘the now’, this moment as the only thing that really matters. But in actuality it takes a lot of practice.
A big thing that I’ve noticed recently is my idea of making plans for the ‘future’. It’s changed and shifted over the years, that’s for sure. I know from experience that sometimes life doesn’t pan out the way you want it to. One minute you have everything sorted out as an imagined plan in your head, then next minute you’ve been thrown a curve ball, and everything’s flipped upside down. And the first time that really hit me I lost all motivation to make goals or plans for myself. I did a total three-sixty on my way of thinking. What’s been coming up for me more often these days, is the notion that I either; have all the time in the world to eventually make things a reality, or that I have no time in my immediate future to put towards new __________ *insert any of the following words… people, projects, hobbies, routines, etc*. Both of which are quite insane and untrue ideas. Time being an illusion while also not being infinite. And if I’m being contradictory it’s because my mind goes back on forth on these things depending on what it is I’m referring to in my life.
But something that’s been clicking lately is the release of the concept of ‘waiting’. A couple of big realisations have come up where I’ve learnt that if I spend my whole time waiting nothing will ever come from it. I’ll keep putting it off and pushing it aside forever. And when I thought I was waiting for others/for the right time/for permission… I was actually waiting for myself. The action starts with me. And something that’s important for me to remember is that I have to at least try. If I do one thing to reach out and follow my passions, desires, or intuition, it’s to take a step in that direction. Put myself on the path even if it means rejection further down the line.
In this present moment I can set up for the future by asking myself these questions: What am I doing right now to get me closer to what I want? What if I was to boldly approach it instead of backing myself into a corner and hiding? What if nothing else mattered except how I am actioning these things into reality? How would things differ if I focused and accepted the ups and downs, without being deterred? And from here, a whole world of opportunities will open (and close) themselves, all I have to do is follow through. In the meantime, I will remain willing to present myself as a force in this lifetime.