Reminders for a Yoga Practice Built From Love: No Expectations, No Attachments

There’s some things that it took me a long time to learn. Some felt like a hard lesson, and some my body craved naturally. And I guess with time I’ve softened and let go of the need to ‘do’ because it’s what others would do, and instead feel into what I need in that very moment.

This is important in the yoga world. In a physical practice like Asana we can get so caught up in the drive and the push to achieve the postures. Aiming for a particular shape with little to no regard for how it’s actually feeling in the body. Sometimes this particular longing is all our mind can focus on, and that’s fine every now and again, but is unsustainable in the long run. It can turn into a way to distract us from our mind, our problems in real life, or other underlying issues.

As one of my teachers, Duncan, said “if you are always moving fast, you’re decreasing your exposure to the experiences that require a little more time.” And when we slow down to notice, we bring more conscious attention to every inch of the body. The feeling of the feet grounding into the earth, the side of the body filling with breath, a steady gaze that builds concentration, the fire that burns from the inside to keep us going, and when we linger in the sweet spots and feel utterly nurtured.

I acknowledge that sometimes a good butt-kicking is exactly what you need. But I’m here to tell you to do it because you want to, because you are being challenged, and because your body is telling you yes. There’s no love involved when it becomes torture. The body doesn’t need to be punished. It needs to be held, caressed, and soothed through the challenges. That’s where growth is found.

And when you start to listen to the signals; understanding what the body craves and what the mind needs to grow, you become encapsulated in awareness. Every movement is thoughtful, each breath feeds into the next, and the inner landscape of your mind can relax. It’s a practice that requires daily checking in and teaches you to come home to yourself, again and again.

So here’s a list of things I want yoga students to know:

• you don’t have to be able to touch your toes
• or do a handstand
• you can skip the ‘vinyasa’ if you want
• you can take child’s pose whenever you need
• find the style of yoga that works for you
• try different teachers because you’ll learn different things
• don’t be afraid to ask for guidance (when you ask questions, you remain curious and open)
• your body is more intelligent than you know
• nothing comes easy or on the very first try
• your discipline is part of your practice
• and finally a quote for encouragement:

“It is sometimes a mistake to climb; it is always a mistake never even to make an attempt.”

Neil Gaiman, Sandman