Meditation: Captured in Poetry (pt. 1)

I’m sitting here breathing,
sitting here breathing
all of a sudden it’s changing
everything is weaving

I’m turning from day to night
my eyelids are closed but there is movement
when I look I see what it is
and take another breath

There’s shapes dancing
and lights sparkling
there’s all the people I have ever loved
and all the worlds I’ve ever known

Suddenly my throat starts constricting
I bring my awareness to this tight sensation
because if I don’t feel this now
it won’t stop suffocating

Who would I be if I lost this battle
who would I become if it overpowers me
there’s something holy in this
surrender

It happens too quick like a snake coiling
that last breath that I took isn’t enough
it’s never enough when pressure starts to seep
out through my consciousness

I’m not dreaming any more
I’m turning and whirling
I can’t see the bottom without imagining
the final stroke

(29/6/20)